I just got back from the doc. Don't worry, not my dealer doc., another one. Don't worry again, I'm not doctor shopping, I told him exactly what I'm doing...Anyway, the reason for the visit was unrelated to withdrawal. Weird joint stuff. He told me I had gone about this the hard way. I told him that for me, there was no other way. I could never taper. But my Dr appointment is not the point of this post. Well, kind of.
i have spent the last 3 weeks plus 3 days (whose counting!) on the couch mostly watching TV. There are lots of commercials for quitting smoking. When I was in rehab, Coke, (as in cola, not cocaine) was contraband. Yep, I snuck it in under the guise of root beer. What was so ironic was that people who had never smoked before, took up smoking. That was OK. There was a special room for the smokers. But NO COKE! It has caffeine. Caffeine? nicotine? I thought that was funny.
Why is there such a problem with especially prescription drugs? Did you know that 3 years ago, Utah was #1 in the nation for prescription drug abuse. The reason for that could make a great debate. Swallowing a pill is very sterile, very non-street-drug like. And why is it so hard to get help? (Back to the whole quit smoking comment above)
I went to a doctor when I was into the habit for about 3 years. He was a psychiatrist. He was the most arrogant SOB I have ever met! Most people like me have low self esteem, (I'm not saying I always do/did, but at that time...) I told him I had a problem and that I needed help. He told me that if I didn't get to a facility for 6 months, I would be "a druggie mom on the streets". I had a very sick husband at the time and a house full of kids. I told him that option wouldn't work for me. I think I got in the parking lot and took more pills! Actually, I don't remember that, but I do remember how horrible he made me feel.
Try and get help. There is a 3 month waiting period to get in with an addiction doctor and about that long to check in somewhere. When a spot does open up, plan on spending your life's savings. Addiction is a big and booming business. So in answer to my today's doctor's statement on doing this the hard way, there are not that many options. There has to be a better way to help people. Maybe just awareness. That is really the purpose for this blog. I hope to help others before they get to my point. And to help me. Mostly to help me.
And as for Dr. Dumb-butt Foote, (his first name rhymes with DARK), I will be on the streets!, running, or walking, or biking!
Hey Shar-My son had the same experience with the lovely Dr. shark, I mean dark or whatever-Foote. He went a little further and said it was my fault my son had a drug problem. Oh yeah, when I choked
ReplyDeleteand was concerned about pulling $45,000 out of the air for rehab, he suggested that maybe my son's life wasn't worth it to me.
It's time rehab was more affordable, and people realized addiction was a disease-not a mental illness.
Love you
Lori
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ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your blog. The past 5 years of my life have been one continous rollercoaster because of the viscious cycle of addiction. My sweet twin sister is a survivor, living proof that change is possible. About this post, I couldn't agree with you more! It is so nice to hear someone say what I have been feeling for so long. I have watched my family and other families pour thousands of dollars into rehab, only to have their loved ones end up with more addict friends to hang out with once they are out. From my experience with my sweet sister you have to get to the point that you are done. You are ready to change, and no amount of money or rehab at a luxury resort can buy that. It is a very personal experience. The change can come. You do need support. But most doctors do not have a clue what it is like. Like I always say, unless you have a personal experience with addiction, you cannot understand the full scope of it. You are amazing to do what you are doing. You are smart. You are capable. We all love you and are thinking of and praying for you. Keep running!
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