Monday, October 26, 2009

Less stuff, more life

I watched a fascinating show where Oprah went to different parts of the world to see how other people live. The most fascinating to me was Copenhagen Denmark. They are supposedly the happiest people on earth. One of the couples interviewed had 3 children, a pair of twins, and then one other child. Upon asking where the twins were, she was told they were out in the court, (sidewalk in our terms) taking a nap. Oprah was flaberghasted, as was I, that parents can leave their children unattended and not fear for the craziness that happens in the states. They are taxed 15% which got into the health issues of the country. None of them had ever seen any homeless people, and there is not much difference in the classes. People choose a profession based on their talents and interests, not on what a paycheck would be. Most of employees are out the door by 4 pm, 5 at the latest, to spend time with their families. They are not a religious people in the traditional sense. Only one of the women interviewed believed in a God. They don't believe in marriage so much, it is "just a piece of paper".

Their lives are very simple. And the most interesting to me was how small, tiny really, their living quarters are, but very nice. One of the women had a shower as part of the sitting area, or in our terms, living room. It had clear glass doors! I envisioned me living there taking a shower. I am still having nightmares! The decor was functional, and that was it. Their refrigerators were small as well, as part of the daily routine is going to the market, thus, their diets are very healthy and fresh. When Oprah commented on the simplicity of their homes, the reply was "less stuff, more life". I loved that! Except that I looked at everything I am surrounded by and felt suffocated by all my needless junk!

It is past time to do some serious shoveling out. I need to surround myself in simplicity. Too much stuff.

I loved seeing how others live around the world. I am grateful for the country I live in but also believe that there is much to be learned from others around the world.

I think I'll go clean out closets or maybe unpack some boxes that have been sitting downstairs since we moved. Come on. I know you have some too! Oh stuff it! I'm going back to bed.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Ron and I were talking this morning of one of the symptoms associated with MCTD. (See #3) There are many, some more serious than others. I have listed some of them in earlier posts but I thought I should list some of the MOST serious, just for awareness and maybe some understanding.

Here goes:
Naught remembering how to spell, i.e. brane kramps.
Very important naught to EVER diet again!
New meaning to the frase, " Not this month dear. I have a headache." (#3)

Severe allergic reactions to many things such as:
Making dinner or any cooking period.
Organizing closets. Actually anything for that matter.
Believe it or not, shopping! (Ron thought he'd NEVER see the day)
Cleaning out kitchen cupboards.
Mopping floors.

Also, there are many things proven to make the disease go into remission.
Make sure to eat as much chocolate as possible.
Have music playing loudly all the time.
It is very important that Ron, Curtis and I go out to dinner lots.
Travel is proven to slow down the progression, especially, well, anywhere an airplane is involved.
Doing whatever I want to do every single day.
Eating whatever I want every single day.
Getting a dog. (Really Ron. I KNOW I read that somewhere)
Make sure to keep on top of "Days of Our Lives". I mean, what is Nicole going to do? And when is Sami going to find out the truth about her baby she thought had died that Nicole adopted and everyone just found out is Mia's,(but really isn't) and Chad wants now that he just found out he's the dad?! And I thought I had it rough!

This is just to name a few. I'm sure I will think, I mean, find out about others as time goes on.

Seriously. What?!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stages of Grief..

It seems as though I haven't had much to say. My mind has been too busy trying to process too many things. First of all, I was able to go to Seattle to visit Chel. I had such a great time. We didn't sight see. We just spent time with each other walking, biking, and lots of talking. The highlight was getting to see my new grand-doggy! Harley is so cute! I am glad Chels got a dog. Everyone needs a dog, but especially Chel. Seattle is so beautiful! Green is everywhere. We walked on a path that was more like a tunnel of green. Just 10 yards from her place is a beautiful little river. I was so nourished by it's beauty.

On the plane ride over, I was all of a sudden struck with reality. I felt quite horrible the day I left and as I was waiting to board the plane, I looked around at all the people. I wondered how many others were like me. I wanted to jump up and down and scream at the top of my lungs, "I might look normal but I'm not. I'm sick and I feel awful!" It then hit me like a ton of bricks. How ironic. First my husband and now me. How is it that we both have auto immune diseases? How can that be?

I came across the 5 stages of grief. Grief is oftentimes misunderstood. Grief can be the loss of anything. And in my case, it is the loss of my health, the loss of what I thought my future would be and the reality of what it is now. The stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They don't necessarily go in any order. And you don't always experience every one. I'm in the pissed off stage. I guess that is anger. I go in and out of the denial as well. I don't believe many times. There is no way my antibody levels were at 10,200+ when normal levels are from 0-80. Even the U of U doctor had a hard time believing those numbers until he ran them again. What the heck, and how many years have they been off the charts? Why didn't my other doc think to run some of those tests when I kept going in saying something wasn't right? Would it have made any difference anyway? Why is it that one day I can feel OK and the next, I can't get my head off the pillow? Why do I have to look like a monster besides all the other stuff? (My family hates it when I say I look like a monster) My teeth are even affected. Ron can always tell bad days because my whole body swells up.

Yep, I'm in the anger stage all right and I think that's OK. I fight when I'm angry. I don't know about the other stages. I have been told that I need to get to acceptance. Maybe. I just don't know how.

I guess I am having a down time as well. I try to stay up all the time for my family, and for me. But I am sad. What stage is sad? It isn't really depression I don't think. It is just feeling really sad. I hope I don't feel pity. I don't want pity. I think there should be an overwhelmed stage. Yeah, I feel overwhelmed.

Seattle was great. It made me realize how important it is to get out of our ruts. I used to do it by running, playing the piano, and even making dolls. I have to find a rut-getter-outter I can do several times a week.

And maybe I need to get to acceptance.