Yesterday was very humbling. I had lots of friends and family fasting and praying for me. The bishop also announced in church to keep "Sister Nelson in your prayers..". It was also announced in Relief Society. And to hear my name in a prayer was very humbling. And I must say, I learned a great lesson. It is so much tougher being on the receiving end of service. I was uncomfortable being prayed for publicly. But very grateful, for I know that there is power in prayers offered in unity.
So the latest diagnosis is going down a direction called mixed connective tissue disease, or MCTD for short. I don't know much about it other that what I have read on the Internet. I think the concern will be the extent of damage to internal organs. I think they are fine. I will be finding out with more tests I'm sure.
I am feeling many different things. Of course I am sad. Sad for what I thought my life after pills would be like. But mostly sad for the toll this is taking on my family. I can deal with what comes my way, but I keep thinking it isn't fair for my children to have to go through yet one more trial. The girls grew up not knowing or thinking that their dad would live to see his 50th birthday. I didn't either. It was very hard on them. They had so many responsibilities not put on too many children. I sometimes wonder how much more they can take. But, they became so close as a result. They have had so many trials other than family illnesses. They are tough. They are strong, But more important than anything, they all have been taught about the Atonement, our Savior's love for them and that there are not any trials we have to go through alone.
There is a story I am stealing from my friend. It is about a man who fell into a deep dark hole. Try as he might, he could not get out. A doctor walked by and saw the man. He wrote out a prescription and threw it down the hole. A preacher walked by and threw down a prayer. Another man came along and jumped in the hole with him. The man said, "Oh great! Now we are both stuck!" The other man replied, " No, I have been down here before so I can show you the way out."
The Savior can show us the way out of any hole we my be in, because he has literally been there. He conquered, and he can show us how to conquer if we let him. How much tougher our trials would be if we didn't have this knowledge.
And for that knowledge, I am so very grateful.