Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I had a great birthday. I drove to Levan where I spent the night with a dear friend and then taught a mini class in her RS on making pecan rolls. It was great spending time with Paula and Annie though we didn't get a lot of time to ourselves. Nils and Paula's son Collin, are roomies at Utah State. We go back about 30 years. I drove home in a blizzard, well, maybe not that bad but bad enough that there were cars off the freeway and a few that had turned upside down. That night we went with several couples to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It dawned on me that everyone we went with had to get babysitters. Hum. We should have gone to Chuck A Rama. Isn't that where old people go? My dad, Tolman and I like Chuck -A. My dad's 85, Tolman is 5, and I am somehwere in the middle. Hum again.

Great weekend, except that I haven't been feeling well. Ron could tell, sitting across from me at dinner. I hope no one else could.

As I was leading the music in Primary, I had to sit on the table up front and stop waving my arms. I couldn't lead at all in senior as I felt too sick. I woke up Monday morning feeling pretty bad and it lasted throughout the day. I had a feeling it was my blood pressure. It has continually gone up for the last 3 months. To make a long story short, I was at the doctor's office before they opened. I didn't want to wait. My BP was high but not ER dangerous high. Other than that, all my vitals were fine. Then he did an EKG. It is my 3rd or 4th one since June. The doc came in the room and said it indicated I had had a heart attack at some point. Sometimes the abnormal reading can mean something else. I'm going to a heart clinic this morning for a stress test and echo cardiogram, which I believe is an ultra sound of the heart. Stress test?! Of course I've been stressed! But no longer. Sami finally found out that Sydney is hers! Oh happy day!

Now what. First of all, we called Jami on the way home to let her know the news and that I wouldn't be up for tending. Ron let Curtis know. So what did I do? A dumb idiot thing. I texted the rest of my kids. This is not news that should be sent via text. And poor Jame gets the phone calls from frantic sibs. WHY did I do that! I had a hard enough time telling my mom the news. We both started crying.

Texting. No emotion. Matter of fact. No personality. Control. Convenient. All of the above and more. Not a good way to communicate. In fact, does it count as communicating? Some things can be communicated appropriately through technology, where clearly, other things just should not be.

So, I am sorry to my family for being a dork. I can make excuses but it just wasn't right. It is just that some things are easier to type than to say out loud. But I won't make that mistake again. I promise.


  1. Oh Shar, my heart goes out to you. What challenges we have. How to live? How to live with purpose when there is so much a body can no longer do? How to protect loved ones, especially children from the pain of watching a parent suffer - and watching them wonder...will she die? And your kids have already been through that with Ron.

    I saw one friend on FB saying she wanted to know the results of your tests today...or were those Wednesday? Did you have more tests today? Please let me know how you are doing.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, with your family. I love you all!! Cathi :-)

  2. Hey mom, You can text me anytime. Sometimes I perfer it. I hardly answer my phone. And texts are easy and to the point. I didn't once consider that that text was a bad thing!!!! Love you mom. PS.. This is Jess, for some reason I can't sign in!!!