Monday, February 22, 2010

Space Invaders..with love from Ron

Have you ever felt like “your space” was being invaded….It can happen in many ways….someone sitting at your place at the table….someone taking over responsibilities at work…finding something missing when you knew you had put that something – (wallet, keys, cash, etc.) away in that … it only belongs here place. How about someone else writing on your blog.

Last Week, a dear friend came and invaded my space. She is really Shar’s friend, but since I know all about her and because of her love for our family she is like family…a dear, dear friend. Well, I got home the other day and our home was spotless. No more signs of Christmas. The house smelled new and clean and perfect…the floor shined like new, the countertops had nothing on them collecting dust…I could even find the jam in the refrigerator without having to take things out and then finding out it had been left with the Peanut Butter on the laundry room countertop. Yea, that happened a few weeks ago…I’m pretty sure it was me, but I don’t remember….

I could go room by room and tell you how grateful I was that someone had invaded my space…but my closet….who knew the things that were hiding…Not only had my closet been transfigured from a hell looking existence…but nothing was where I had left it. Everything was hung up….everything except my shoes. But it was different…all different. My things were hung on Shars side of the closet, on her rods….There were no clothes piled up on the floor…zero….The closet even smelled better….I never noticed it smelled bad…but now it smelled good….I remembered how my daughter Jessica could argue when she was smaller that she always new where things were, even if you couldn’t see the carpet on her floor. Well, the closet wasn’t that bad, and I couldn’t say where everything was…but…now…it is like one of those closets you see in the movies. Everything was in its place…different place…but as I stood trying to take it all in..and trying to find the irritation in my soul…I couldn’t…All I could do was cry and feel grateful. (Yea, don’t spend a lot of time trying to picture the tears)

Thank You for invading our space.

How grateful I am. I left one day for work…arrived home and accomplished in that day what Shar has been asking me to do for years.

This is only one of the million blessings that have come our way in the mix of trying to find our lives intertwined with Shar’s illness as the people we love have started the invasion of our space.

How is she? ………………..Not very good physically. Shar had surgery last week. The Doctors wanted to do it because her lungs are failing. She has lost 32 to 47 percent (depending on the test) of her lung capacity, function, diffusion and volume. She is on Oxygen 95% of the time…the other 5% she is OXD – OXygen
Deprived because the devise is driving her nuts…two months ago she said she would never go on oxygen and now here we are…I have tripped over the plastic tubing that follows her where ever she goes and almost killed myself after one of those adventures. Happy to say I survived. My mother went through the OXD and thank goodness we laughed when we could. We all tripped over her lines and yes.,…she almost killed herself by tripping over it. I once arrived at 1866 finding her on the floor with no ability to get up by herself. It was serious at the time, but we found laughter. If I get home one day and Shar is on the floor…I have already let her know that I will leave her there. I hope she has her phone at the time so she can text.

BOOP – Bronchiolitis Obliterans with Organizing Pneumonia – is the diagnosis, or the diagnosis based upon the first diagnosis, or should we just say a secondary condition which has brought worse news than the initial or primary diagnosis. It is not a Pneumonia treated with antibiotics – the real term should be Pneumonitis or just Inflammation of the obliterates or the small airways in the lungs. For some unknown reason, other than the original disease diagnoses of Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, Shars lungs have begun to crystallize which is making life different….disease has started to invade her space, the space she needs to breathe

Our space (our home) is being invaded. Dear, dear friends keep showing up…I think we haven’t known a few people that have come that voice that we are their bestest of friends…but who cares when they bring a gallon of burnt almond fudge Ice cream.

I came home the other day and was concerned that my wife had a heart attack. I had no clue that a heart attack could bring so much joy…..Hearts with notes taped all over our bedroom and bathroom. Even Connie did not have the heart to bring them down…for in every heart ….we find light…

Life is hard…but the harder it seems to get…the more JOY we seem to feel. Interesting!

I will leave the diagnosis of that statement for each of you to figure out….Good Luck!

We would love for life to return to normal, with Shar getting well and with Shar telling me to get my clothes off the closet floor. We hope and pray for that day, but for now it doesn’t matter. It hasn’t mattered for months now. I have always been amazed at what people go through to get through. For years I met hundreds of people trying to get through and from time to time I would get some understanding of their situation to realize that miracles happen in all of our lives, even in the darkest of moments.

For every miracle there is still sadness and worry….Mortality is just that….Mortal. The things we do and think and worry about….Some, I guess, really do matter.


  1. Amazing Essay, Ron. Loves! To! You All!

  2. Wow Dad!! Well put. And I love you.

  3. Wow, Ron. Well put. Hang in there. Love you guys.

  4. That was beautiful Ron. This is Jody Jensen Haycock ( Chiara Fronces' mother) Shar and I were the very best of friends in high school. I am SOOOO sorry to hear that my sweet friend is ill. I would love to visit if that is possible? Please let Shar know that I am praying for her. You can reach me at #801-870-9978. Thanks and may the Lord's blessings be poured down upon all of you. Love Jody