I heart my heart doc

I went to another doc yesterday, another specialist, a cardiologist. The heart and lungs work together and because my lungs are sick, my heart is having to work extra hard. (I say my heart is working extra hard cause there is so much inside it.) Sure enough, the EKG came back abnormal so off for more specific tests next week.

I loved my heart doc. I had no idea who he was when I made the appointment. I just wanted to get in to the first available opening whoever it was. I scored! He talked to me forever. He asked me all the medical questions doctors do on first appointments but what he did next was a first. He asked me how I was doing. I was thinking that I had just spent all this time telling him. Were you not listening! No, he said, I want to know how you are handling all this. I got tears in my eyes as I thought about the answer to the question. I just want to be active and run again. I want to be able to clean my house. I want to be able to do triathlons with my kids. I want to be able to work in my garden from sun up to sundown. I want to be able to make plans and know I can follow through. I want to be able to go on dates with my sweetheart instead of always saying, I'm sorry honey. I'm just not up for a movie. I want Curtis not to see me on the couch or bed so much. I want to be able to take care of my parents and worry about them instead of the other way around. I want my beautiful grandkids to know the real me, not the oxy wearing sicko.

Don't worry. I didn't tell him this whole list but I did tell him some. He put his arm around me, (which is a first for any of my docs) and said, Well you know what the saying is don't you? No, I responded. Life is a bitch and then you die. I started laughing as the tears were running down my checks. He told me I seemed to be doing very well and that if he were in my situation, he could be written off. (He was just trying to make me feel good, which he did.)

He then asked how my husband and children were handling it. I said they were all champs. They are my hero's.

It was so very therapeutic being able to open the flood gates and let all this out and not feel judged or like an ungrateful brat. He listened, and he cared.

Yep. This doc was so great. He is taking care of my heart, both the things that can be seen on a scan and the things that can't.